There Was Never Anything Wrong With Me
That’s the truth.
There never was.
I look back on my health journey — when the symptoms first began — and I know it in my bones now.
My body was never broken.
A little constipation.
Some bloating.
Acne that flared here and there.
Long periods.
Subtle symptoms.
Subtle cues.
Gentle whispers from my biology.
But I mistook a whisper for a diagnosis.
My body was trying to get my attention.
And instead of listening, I panicked.
The Ember That Sparked the Flame
I remember my first appointment with a functional medicine doctor. I was 17.
He handed me a packet inches thick — health history, diet recall, lifestyle habits, products, stress levels. I filled it out honestly. I didn’t think much of it.
I walked into that office believing I was relatively healthy.
I walked out believing I had been silently destroying myself.
Within minutes, he began dissecting my answers.
You eat that?
You use that product?
You don’t supplement this?
There were rules I didn’t know existed — and apparently I had broken all of them.
Then came the acronyms:
SIBO.
MTHFR.
PCOS.
They were presented as “root causes.”
Potential lifelong problems.
Things that would spiral if I didn’t get control — now.
Fear entered my body before I even understood the words.
That was the moment something shifted.
Health became moral.
Food became dangerous.
Symptoms became proof.
And I began to believe I was broken.
When Beliefs Become Biology
Off I went down the rabbit hole.
Cutting out gluten, dairy, sugar, grains, processed foods, alcohol, caffeine.
Cleansing, detoxing, fasting, supplementing.
Researching my face off. Burning through protocols. Blowing a lot of mo. $$$$
I told myself this was discipline.
Really, it was penance.
I believed I had caused my illness — and I needed to earn my way back to health.
But the more I obsessed over wellness…
The sicker I became.
Chronic SIBO.
80% hair loss.
Cystic acne.
Itchy rashes.
Lost my period.
25 pounds underweight.
Constant anxiety.
I was following every rule.
And I was withering.
I took that as proof I needed to try harder.
But that’s where I had it all wrong.
The Prophecy
Looking back a decade later, I see it clearly.
My body wasn’t failing.
It was protecting me.
I was already living in fight-or-flight long before that doctor’s office.
At 17, I was chasing perfection in everything:
School.
Sports.
Relationships.
Achievement.
Image.
I didn’t trust myself.
I didn’t feel enough.
So I performed.
Always bracing.
Always striving.
Always scanning for what needed fixing.
When that doctor confirmed there were things “wrong,” it solidified the fear I already carried.
My belief became concrete.
And my biology followed.
My symptoms stopped being signals.
They became my identity.
Predictive Coding: Why Your Brain Makes Your Symptoms Real
Your brain is not a passive observer.
It is a prediction machine.
This is called predictive coding — a neuroscience model showing that the brain constantly anticipates what will happen next based on past experience. It prepares your body accordingly.
This is efficient.
It conserves energy.
It keeps you safe.
But it prioritizes efficiency over accuracy.
If your brain learns:
“This food causes bloating.”
It will predict bloating before digestion even begins.
And once the brain predicts danger it changes physiology to match the story.
Simply because your brain is trying to protect you.
My Brain Tried to Prove Itself Right
Once I believed food was dangerous and my body was fragile, my nervous system adjusted accordingly.
My Gut
• Slowed motility → constipation
• Elevated cortisol & adrenaline → fermentation and bloating
• Diverted blood flow away from digestion → impaired breakdown of food
• Reduced stomach acid & enzyme output → malabsorption
My Hair & Skin
• Nutrient depletion → hair growth deprioritized
• Chronic stress hormones → impaired detoxification
• Elevated cortisol → higher insulin → increased oil production
• Immune dysregulation → inflammation & persistent acne
• Reduced cellular repair → slow healing
My Hormones
• Chronic cortisol elevation → suppressed progesterone
• Suppressed progesterone → halted ovulation
• No ovulation → missing period
This is called top-down signaling.
The brain signals down to the body.
The story shapes the state of your health.
Why Symptoms Stick Around
Every time you:
• Reinforce the belief that you’re broken
• Obsessively monitor your symptoms
• Mentally brace for a flare
• Start another restrictive protocol
• Try to control every variable
Your brain hears: “We are not safe.”
And your body follows suit.
You can have normal labs.
A pristine diet.
A cabinet full of supplements.
And still feel awful.
Because predictive coding runs on belief.
Your brain would rather be consistently wrong than uncertain.
So it repeats familiar patterns.
Chronic symptoms are not a system failure.
They are a body that learned to overprotect you.
Your Thoughts & Words Have Power
Scripture said it long before neuroscience did:
“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” — Proverbs 23:7
Research on the placebo effect has repeatedly shown that belief alone can trigger measurable physiological change — from neurotransmitter release to immune modulation.
Harvard researchers studying placebo responses have demonstrated that expectation can alter pain perception, inflammatory markers, and even motor function — even when participants know they’re taking a placebo.
Belief is not imaginary.
It is biological.
Your brain does not distinguish between imagined threat and real threat.
It responds to meaning.
And meaning shapes physiology.
The Shift
This isn’t about toxic positivity.
It’s not about pretending symptoms don’t exist.
It’s about coming back to truth.
The truth is:
Your body has never been your enemy.
It has always been trying to protect you.
I tried rewiring my brain with meditation, vagus nerve exercises, nervous system tools.
They helped temporarily sometimes.
But they didn’t uproot the core belief.
I still believed I was fundamentally fragile.
What changed everything was faith.
When I reconnected with God, I stopped trying to be my own savior.
I stopped micromanaging my biology.
I stopped striving to outsmart my body.
I started trusting divine design.
Reading Scripture this year has transformed me from the inside out.
I no longer feel alone in my body.
I feel held.
I no longer see symptoms as punishment.
I see them as invitations.
I no longer believe my healing depends on perfect execution.
I believe it rests in perfect love.
There Was Never Anything Wrong With Me
I was not chronically sick.
I was chronically afraid.
This was never just a physical battle.
It was spiritual.
And once I stopped fighting for control and started surrendering to God, my body softened.
My nervous system settled.
My cycles returned.
My hair grew back.
My digestion normalized.
Not because I found the perfect protocol.
But because I found peace.
Every flare now becomes an opportunity to anchor deeper into truth.
To choose faith over fear.
To let love regulate what control never could.
I’m no longer trying to play God over my health.
I’m letting God transform my heart through it.
And I see now —
That was always the point.
We are here to receive and expand God’s love.
That is the healing.
This sounds like my own story — wow! Thank you!
So incredibly relatable & beautifully written. Thank you.